Have you arrived in life!?!

Your journey is not going to be that you want but it is gonna be the one that you need.
I have been told this time in and time out but I never really understood this until now.
Three years back when I was working with IBM and was on the verge of getting a promotion,
I got this news that the company is in losses and is cutting down on the workforce.

It never really bothered me because I was exceptional at my job and in my head I had nothing to worry about. I remember I was out celebrating a friend's birthday when I got the news that the management has finalised the list of people they are going to let go of and I was on that list.
I was shattered. I went to work the next day, tried talking to my manger and got a blatant reply that it is not him but the higher bosses who have decided on that god forsaken list and there is nothing that can be done.

So,I started looking for new jobs however, the market was so bad at that point that none of the companies were hiring back then. At the same time I had decided to move out of the PG i was  living in back then because of a toxic roommate situation.
I decided to put all my savings in finding a new place for myself and move out as soon as I can and I was out of that place in a month's time. It was around the same time that I had finished my last working day with IBM.

So, I was living at a new place with no support whatsoever because I had decided not to tell my family about this.With little to no money at all there were times that I thought of giving up and just going back home but there was something that kept giving me the strength to keep fighting.

I was very comfortable at my ex- job however, there was always this bug in my head that kept telling me that this was not something I would like to do all my life. So, I thought to myself that maybe this could turn into a good thing,maybe I will find my calling. I DID NOT!

I had to pay my bills and for that I took up a job that as an engineering graduate from one of the top colleges in India would never be proud to add to their resume. I got into the BPO sector .

Trust me it was not easy landing a job in that sector as well because given my qualifications the management always had this doubt that I will not be staying there for a very long time and no company wants that. 

Anyway, I worked in that company for 3 months meanwhile looking for better opportunities and then eventually found a profile that I was happy to go for.

The payscale was not very high but hey, I was back at doing what I was good at.

However, that didn't last for very long because eventually I had to pay bills.

I never took money from my family and while I was looking for jobs here and there , and because I had no means of commute of my own , I was being robbed by companies like Uber and Ola and at times I had to decide between buying a packet of milk or probably saving those 21 bucks for something more important.Not even exaggerating! It was horrible.

Rome was not built in a day and I am sure they must also have shifted some bricks here and there when they were building it.

Although I did manage to land a job with a better salary that could pay the bills  while at the same time allow me to live a comfortable life it came with a price. I am currently working in East Coast Shifts which trust me has not been an easy ride.

I wake up on weekends having slept the entire day feeling like a zombie up at nights. (insert "girl with her hand on forehead"emoji here)


My name is Soni and I am very very grateful to be living this life and to have made it this far.
Still searching for the magic portion that they call "successful" but I am happy I didn't give up when life kicked me in the balls! :P

Between all of this the only lesson I have learnt is that there is no instant gratification and that beating yourself up or feeling pity for yourself is not going to get you anywhere.

Life will never be what you expect it to be but all you can do is take it one day at a time.