That overrated thing called Love!!

I went to find love and ended up losing myself!The only thing I want
now is to rediscover myself,to get away from the numbness that I have been experiencing
from the last few days.I want to be at peace with myself which seems impossible now.
Someone rightly said that the greatest drug for a human is another human being.
I grew up reading stories of happily ever after,true love,now I  only wonder if there
really is any such thing in this world.I don't mean to be bitter but cannot really help feeling this way.
In today's instant makeup ,instant breakup world such a love is not just hard to find but almost an unattainable mission that everyone wishes to complete.
I found a man who wrote about me ,sang songs for me,I thought I had found my soulmate,loved him with all my heart
 but that love left me heartbroken,only to realise that nothing was exclusive!
The dream was shattered!That was the first time I had to grow up!The first time I faced the cruel face of the outer world!People told me to move on,
I was told that this kindaa stuff happens and that I should not take all this to heart but I felt like I was stuck in a tunnel without any light on either side.
He came back asking for forgiveness,he came back with his huge claims of love and I decided to cling on to him again hoping to rediscover love this time.
So yes I gave love another chance and this time ended up heartbroken and humiliated!I was termed foolish,immature,hotheaded and was made to feel and believe that
all the faults lies with me!I was not the soul who could ever be loved and that I should be grateful that someone atleast does that,even if he had no
intention of paying any respect
to that relationship and me by atleast giving a thought to our future together! Who was I to complain ,I had love!I settled for that!

But you know what,you sould never settle!The day you start settling  people make it a habbit to offer you even less !
I realised the harsh reality only after three and a half years of being with him as a friend and lover that not only had I lost his love but respect too!
I did not even had a friend in him anymore! People never respect you if you don't respect yourself!
That was the day I decided to walk away from it !
Now when I see him bashing me and this  relationship on social media I cannot help but laugh and cry at the same time.
Does this man has no inner voice! Was I so wrong in choosing a man for myself that he could not even see why the girl who was in head over heels in love with him
chose to shut all her feelings in some corner of her heart all of a sudden!
I can only wonder!